Steroids

the flush creeps on
a year later
hot discomfort
inside my veins
the flush confused me once
disguised as fear
I recognise it now
I understand it well today
the sunshine
of my blood.


Life in my little room
curtains drawn on harsh light
and behind it the birds sing.
Every day my hair falls
and piles beside me on the bed
Every other day my toes inflame
and confine me to bed again;
Still the birds sing.


I still wait and watch for your arrival
even though I know you will not come
Cars pass and the light fades
and still you do not call.

sept 1998