June 13. A Saturday. A week since the last medical intervention. I have a problem called tachycardia, which literally means fast heart, a racing pulse. There is nothing that can be done about it, but it does make me think about life and death resting within the beats of our heart. I once asked a doctor if my heart would get tired soon, tired of beating so fast, so furiously; he just smiled, and shook his head. Do you ever think about your heart? Working away, unnoticed most of the time. Sometimes a shock of adrenaline sets up awareness, sometimes we pat our heart comfortingly, but unless you can hear it, really hear and listen to it, the heart remains a metaphor.
Today I realised there are two Holy Grails in my life. The first is this elusive vision of getting Better. What does it mean? Will I ever know it? And the second is the even more elusive finding of True Love. All around me friends are getting married, celebrating anniversaries and births of babies, job changes, lifestyle changes. And it fascinates me - how do people find one another? The true find of your life.
In the meantime, while I listen to my heart, and follow the mysteries of the Holy Grails, and wonder about death, I am learning several ways of saying "Live!"
Jeannette St Germain over at mysteries has taught me 'Le Chaim', which is Hebrew for "to life!" A Ghanaian nurse on the ward taught me "Obanye Ofi!", in Korean it is "Aja!" and Japanese "Gambatte!"
Come on Shaista!
If you know any other words of encouragement in any other languages - teach me!
Love to all...
Image: 'The Holy Grail' by Dante Gabriel Rossetti