Never ask why.
Never give up.
Never stop.
Smiling laughing pleasing teasing.
Never cry.
Listen to the birds
and the wind.
Light candles
to bring truth in.
Never win.
Read nothing
from silence.
Imagine no one
from darkness.
Never spin tales.
Never weave dreams.
Still you must hope.
Always believe.
Try everything.
Now forget
and start again.
~ Shaista, 2010
December 5 is Day of the Ninja, apparently. This picture of me on the PSSU Ward, D5, Chair 9, is the very first and only picture in existence of me in hospital. I am not sure why I asked the nurse to take it. I was my warrior poet self. I was thinking of you all as I smiled. Thinking of you, thanking you, for two years of strength, encouragement, advice, friendship, poetry, travel photographs, compliments and prayers. The picture is a little fuzzy, a little out of focus, and the nurse, Annamma, apologised for that. But I like it fuzzy, unfocussed, surreal. Ninja, or shinobi, means to steal away, and thus, by extension, to forbear. Look for me in that chair. I am not there :)
Oh you are an amazement, and your writing sings! No, "you" are not in that chair - you are flying the heavens with your radiant smile. Yes, always believe. I know you do.
ReplyDeletep.s. I posted a link to a moving film clip of Dr Jill Taylor (My Stroke of Insight) speaking about her experience of the stroke she had at 37 - she studied the differentces in our right and left brains and experienced nirvana, during the stroke......you might enjoy watching. I found her very moving.
I really love that poem.
ReplyDeleteYou're the softest, best poet warrior I know.
ReplyDeleteWell now I can see you in the chair, but I won't picture you there, even though you ARE smiling.
You are a warrior ninja poet! Your strength is admirable, you are awesome amazing every single day.
ReplyDeletePS: We are now back from Edinburgh & thawing out in London. A few more days here until flying home...wish I could take you with me! Hope you are well & recovering in every way possible, and writing all the while!!
What a winsome smile!
ReplyDelete(You do look very hopeful - and healthy, actually - here.)
DO read the Gwen Raverat if you can. She has the most original, most humorous sensibility.
Wow, Shaista, I read those powerful words and scrolled down to find out who wrote them and found you. Even in hospital you look lovely. You are a word ninja.
ReplyDeletewarrior on! attitude up, always, healing......
ReplyDeleteKeep on keeping on, dear warrior. Peace, my friend. xx
ReplyDeleteQ: What's a ninja's personal motto?
ReplyDeleteA: I'm shuriken, I'm shuriken
Hee hee hee
Dear Shaista,
ReplyDeleteI am glad you enjoyed the posting of Gregory Colbert. No I did not get to see the exhibition.
I found it at Pan's blog at http://serre-pan.blogspot.com/
and fell in love with his work.
And I am so very glad Sherry introduced us.
ReplyDeleteAmazing, simply amazing.
ReplyDeleteYour smile is so pretty.
ReplyDelete:) makes me smile too.
:) One smile = two and many more smiles
Love your smile.
ReplyDeleteYou are a warrior !
Very beautiful poem!
ReplyDeleteHave a pleasant day!
Great poem Shaista. I will have to copy that one down.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments on my Mom's blog. I have been meaning to write to you for some time. I remember some words of comfort you sent me after my Mom died, looks like I got busy with everything else and nine months later, I would like to thank you : )
This picture struck me and brought me back to when I was on chemo. I also sat by the window in a chair much like yours except I would have been across from you by the looks of that picture and if that pen you are holding has a wooden centerpiece, I have the same one.
I am looking forward to reading your blog and I am so glad to have finally stopped by. My Mom had mentioned you a few times and I am so happy she found you.
I do hope your Grandmother is doing ok, as best as she can considering and I hope you are feeling as best you can be as well. I guess I will have to read further to learn a little more about your lupus. I remember my Mom saying that if lupus was a person, she would have kicked it's ass so hard it would never show it's face around anymore.
Much love to you and all the best in the New Year.
Angelique
What a wonderful, inspirational message.
ReplyDelete