December 2014. The year is gathering her skirts for the final curtsy. She has been Queen Elizabeth in her Dame Dench-Shakespeare In Love guise for me this year...you know that scene towards the end after the performance of Romeo and Juliet, when Dame Dench/ Her Majesty hesitates for a moment contemplating the icky muddy pool of dirtwater before her, and then with a disgusted look at her noblemen and courtiers, leaps over the hurdle herself?
That's the way I'd characterise some of the last months of this year. An icky pool of dirtwater to be navigated with little elegance and none of the flair I have grown accustomed to.
I am already looking back on the years of 2010, '11 and '12 with a fondness for the old days of pomp and glory. There were weddings to attend, and finally, 2013 brought me my three angel nieces; but since the summer of their births, I have been sliding into a graceless decline.
I have been riddled with infections all year and most of last year too. And although my walk across the stage to be congratulated for my MA graduation with distinction, was filled with pride and confidence... still, this disease haunts my every waking moment.
So of course, in times of great distress and trauma and impending depression, one must buy a plane ticket and get the hell outta dodge!
I am flying far away from fenland and gorse bush to a green city where two small nieces are going to get a little shock when their Aunty Shai rocks up below their balcony and hollers out their names... Will they wave excitedly or look bemused, or take it in their stride that their Aunty Shai has returned to the land of her birth? I shall report.
Meanwhile Merry Christmas mes amies, mi amigos, my beloveds... Let us meet again soon when '14 turns to '15 and we are freshly birthed into the new year.
your journey, from what little i can relate through your sharing, has been nothing less than covered in grey clouds. i wish and hope that this intended journey to where you're going, to visit your nieces,will be pleasurable and fulfilling. i hope that in your rare moments of assuaged pain your eyes will be clear, your breath deep and rich, your touch most sensitive, your tastes sate and your heart touched by the joy of love. this i wish for you in this coming moment, day, month year.
ReplyDeletefeliz dias de celebracion, mi amiga; mon ami
Keep fighting Sweetheart. And keep writing. Have a great, great Christmas. Frank.
ReplyDeleteShaista, I join you in anticipating the beginning of a fresh new year. I know 2014 has been a hard slog for you but, as always, you shine. You will so enjoy some time with your beautiful nieces.....who must be bigger now than the photos I remember. Post more on your return! Travel safely, my friend.
ReplyDeleteShaista, I join you in anticipating the beginning of a fresh new year. I know 2014 has been a hard slog for you but, as always, you shine. You will so enjoy some time with your beautiful nieces.....who must be bigger now than the photos I remember. Post more on your return! Travel safely, my friend.
ReplyDeleteI am totally awed by your determination in the face of so much adversity, to continue to be as you are -an inspiration to us all.
ReplyDelete