The life I wish to live,
(On the one hand, I am privileged to be taken care of in an excellent teaching hospital by skilful doctors and deeply caring, efficient nurses... on the other... well, on the other ... is a needle in my wrist, a PICC line in my arm, twenty tablets needing to be swallowed... but if I may borrow a third hand - yours - there is also spring... and crocuses... and summer to come... if I am weepy for now, bear with me, as winter bears up till spring.)
(Gathering for www.dversepoets.com Dverse Poets)
lives on the other side of this:
Maribeth removes the cannula
from the back of my writing hand,
but my nerves still remember Rachel’s
on the inside of my right wrist.
Seen or unseen, these veins connect,
mapped in despair together.
Mind is the beast to conquer, they say.
Hubris, I say. Body holds equal sway.
Memories exist in the pockets of cells,
passing down the tales.
So nobody forgets. No body forgets.
And the mind is never tamed.
The life I wish to live
lives on the other side of this.
Perhaps I live it in the wish?
© Shaista Tayabali, 2019
(On the one hand, I am privileged to be taken care of in an excellent teaching hospital by skilful doctors and deeply caring, efficient nurses... on the other... well, on the other ... is a needle in my wrist, a PICC line in my arm, twenty tablets needing to be swallowed... but if I may borrow a third hand - yours - there is also spring... and crocuses... and summer to come... if I am weepy for now, bear with me, as winter bears up till spring.)
so nobody forgets
ReplyDeleteso no body forgets
there is a life on the other side
Beautifully written - especially after I read the explanation. May you find light where you are and may it lead you to the bright side where body and mind shall both be well.
Beautifully written 💙
ReplyDeleteIn your eyes, I see the weariness, my friend. The crocuses are a sign of hope - spring after winter, rest after struggle and, hopefully, improved health after this with which to enjoy the warm weather. It is so hard to be young and ill. We bear with you, for sure, up hill and down dale. With crocuses!
ReplyDeleteWeepy or not, Shaista, we are here offering you spring, crocuses and summer in our poetry. I’m happy that you are well looked after. The lines I find really effective are:
ReplyDelete‘Seen or unseen, these veins connect,
Mapped in despair together’
And
‘Memories exist in the pockets of cells,
Passing down the tales.
So nobody forgets. No body forgets.’
I like the perspective: "Mind is the beast to conquer" And "I live it in the wish".
ReplyDeleteSeen or unseen, these veins connect, - love this line. sending you light and love
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written!❤️
ReplyDelete'There is also spring' it's happening, it's scents and evanescent moments call and thrill and sing to us the songs we need to hear.
ReplyDeleteOh the other side of this... your suffering sounds unbearable at times... may spring come soon
ReplyDeleteHere’s hoping you find the other side Shaista...
ReplyDeleteYour spirit shines through...yes, spring!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written.
ReplyDeleteShaista ❤️🙌 lots of love and respect for you.